Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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