my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
