I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
