I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
