He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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