I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize