I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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