no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
