i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize