Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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