Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
