Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
