Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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