dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
