I love black thongs
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
