the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
