You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
