i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
