I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
