Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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