Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
