if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize