The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
