I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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