Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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