so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
