walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
