Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
