fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize