I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
