You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
