remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize