she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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