Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
