Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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