So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
