This dress was meant to end up on your floor
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
