You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
