i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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