I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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