I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize