false alarm. still invincible.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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