$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
