Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
