there was a trapeze. enough said
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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