yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
