The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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