He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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