that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
