I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
