I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
