so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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