I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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