I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
