naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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