im about as happy as oj after his trial
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
where does the pee come out of this thing
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
