Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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